I have an extensive collection of self-help books. One of the ones that I like to use for Inspiring Words presentations for my Toastmaster’s meetings comes from a little book titled: Don’t Sweat the Small Stuff for Women by Kristine Carlson.
Spoiler alert! I am using the following message in my meeting next week!
Are you familiar with the phrase: Listen from your love? Do you know what it means? Here is what Kristine has to say: “When two people engage in healthy communication from their hearts, we call this a ‘heart to heart.’ Both people stay open at the heart level and are committed, no matter what is said, remaining detached from their egos. This is the most rich and gratifying form of communication, but the critical inch in the success of a ‘heart to heart’ is listening from your love. Once your ego gets the best of you and you become reactive and defensive, the ‘heart to heart’ is over.
If I understand this information correctly, listening from your love means ignoring your ego and listening with the intent to truly understand what the person you love is saying even if you don’t want to hear it.
When we truly love someone, we want the best for them and we believe that they want the best for us. This can be difficult for most people because we want to believe that we are perfect and do not need correction. That is when our ego gets in the way.
In my Toastmasters group, most people do NOT want to evaluate their peer’s speeches. I believe we don’t want to hurt another person’s ego. However, I know that the only way to improve is to learn what we need to improve and that always requires learning to accept constructive criticism and believe that our evaluator’s have our best interests at heart.
I believe the same concepts apply to all loving and supportive relationships-in business and among our families and friends.
Learn to listen from your love and have a Happy Valentine’s Day!